I gave a talk titled, My Childhood Dreams and Role Models, to a group of youths brought together by the Bhutan Sharing & Loving Youth (BSLY) and Generation Y. The message that I wanted to drive hone was the importance of having dreams and role models, and working towards one’s dreams. As parents, I am sure it is extremely frustrating when your children have no dreams, no ambitions and no directions in life.
I also touched upon the the power of imagination and empathy. Here are some extracts from the talk.
“Growing up, I was a restless kid with multiple dreams and corresponding role models. I wanted to fight like Bruce Lee, sing like Kishore Kumar and Engelbert Humperdinck, play football like Pele, become a pilot and fly to Moon like Neil Armstrong and look cool like Clint Eastwood. I was serious with my dreams too. I did Karate and Kungfu in college – before a shoulder injury forced me out of it. My dream to become a pilot went down when Druk Air didn’t even accept my enquiry – let alone an application. As for football, I barely made it to the college team. In short, I have failed to achieve most of my childhood dreams – except may be become a filmmaker just as Clint did.
Was it all worth then? Can we still dream even when we know that we won’t be achieving them? Yes, of course. Let me also add that as humans, I believe, that the day you stop dreaming is the day you die. To merely exist without a dream is to wander around like a zombie.
If life is journey, dreams are your maps – and role models, your companion.
The greatest beauty about having dreams and failing is that in trying to achieve those dreams, you gather rich skills and experiences that will be useful in other life’s endeavours. Kungfu and soccer gave me a physique that would sustain my professional life as an engineer – trekking to high mountains to build radio and TV stations. Later as a filmmaker I managed to travel to every corner of our country to document places and people. I endured physically demanding walks and works. My flying-to-the-Moon dream, on the other hand, made me fearless of any feats or challenges that normally would be considered impossible. I ventured into the untrodden path – never even doubting my abilities or achieving the targets. Thus, came things like FM radio networks and Bhutan’s first TV channel, which I spearheaded into our once Forbidden Kingdom. Plus I won international awards for documentaries – the first Bhutanese to do and show the way.
Of the several childhood dreams and fascinations, though, I must say that the filmmaker’s dream has been the one that, as I start growing old, is increasingly becoming the most valuable. Not only did I quit a successful engineering career and became a documentary filmmaker but becoming a movie addict as a child opened my world to the power of imagination and creativity. This power, which is either not present or suppressed in our education system, is an important skill. For me it has led to the power of empathy. We need empathy, and more empathy, in this world that is getting cruel by the day.
Basically the power of empathy or imagination is the power to put yourself in the shoes of someone whose life may not be as fortunate as yours.
It is the power that makes you a good human being. The power that drives you to keep striving for a better world. This power served me well when I started volunteering for Tarayana in Athang Rukha in 2007. I continue to be involved in the Olep people even now and we are building the second community temple in Lamga – after we have successfully made them sufficient in food and necessities. For all the imaginative power and empathy that I have developed and have made good use of it, I can only thank one of my childhood role models, Clint Eastwood, for it.
Just as the power of imagination is vital in life, an unimaginative mind can be dangerous and destructive. That’s why people in the government make draconian rules and later rescind them when something unexpected, unimagined and unwanted developments pop up. With some sense of faint imagination these mishaps can be prevented.
Lastly, disappointments and rejections. (I touched on this topic in the wake of the growing suicide among youth.)
I know disappointments are hard to handle – especially for a populace that is always on ego swings. There is a general misconception that the country, we have today, has become worse. While my generation often romanticize OUR time and good ole let me tell you that we have had our fair share of hardships and struggles – and failures, disappointments and rejections. I often say that I have failed more than I succeeded in my life. However, now that I have crossed the half-century mark (I am 51) I look back and I realise that more than achievements, disappointments have been my greatest teachers. They are not as bad as it appeared back then. So, if you are going through one just now, wait. Don’t kill yourself. When you are old enough like me, you will look back and see how silly those despairs were.
Let me also share my own experience dealing with both. In triumphs and achievements, I have attracted envies and enemies. It is true. But in disappointments and despair, I have found my true friends and family members. Especially as a Sharchop, I have cherished the extended family culture.”
“Therefore, do not look at disappointments and obstacles with a heavy heart or with a resigned soul. If you can persist, success will surely come your way.
Whenit does, however,
don’t let the success change you. And don’t let disappointments kill you.
Cry if you must. But don’t keep crying or sulking forever. Shake them off you and tell yourself, “Well! Enough now! Life goes on”.
Don’t be scared to dream. Don’t be shy to say you have a role model or that you admire someone. Sometimes to be able to dream is our only privilege.
I hope you will have many dreams and role models too – and unlike mine, you will be able to fulfil them. If you don’t, well, life goes on.