Bali, Indonesia – I have a fear of drowning. I have also realised I have thalassophobia, which is the fear of depth. As a child I watched a movie in which a sea monster attacks a ship. This must have left some lifelong fear in me. I feel something scary will jump out of the deep sea. In any case, being from Bhutan – a landlocked country where there are no oceans, and where the lakes are considered sacred, you don’t have much experience with water.

On this wellbeing retreat in Bali one activity that they had planned was snorkelling and scuba diving near the Menjangan Island. The sea around the island is a protected coral sanctuary that is guarded by the rangers. No one is allowed to spend the night on the island, but during the day one can take a boat there to see the corals.

I was told that we would be taken to the island and there you can walk into this sea and look at the corals. However, I had misunderstood. The boat stopped some kilometres away from the beach and we were handed down fins, life-jackets and snorkels, and then told to jump off the boat. I had never done it before, and so I was almost giving it a pass when two participants, a super lively guy named Craig, and his partner, Carissa – both from Canada, offered to rescue me in case I drowned.

“Dead or alive,” joked Craig. “Hopefully alive,” he added with a big laugh. I had the heartiest laugh.

I felt reassured, though. It was just three days since I had known Craig and Carissa and I connected with them instantly – Craig for his loud and endless tales of survivals and success, which resonated with mine; and Carissa for her Italian descent, heart and smile. I lived in Italy for eight years. I love the Italians.

I explained to them that not only have I ever done that before, I also have the phobia of large body of water and depth – and I could barely swim.

“Trust me. You will love it,” Craig told me.

I was scared but I have also always wanted to see live coral trees. Legends and myths in Buddhism, and in our part of the world, talk about a heavenly paradise that is filled with coral trees, turquoise floors, animals and singing fairies. I thought this was my best, and maybe the only chance to visit this mythical paradise. 

So off I jumped out of the boat and into the sea. I went down but was instantly bubbled up to the surface by the lifejacket. I must have looked terrified, though.

“Now relax,” Craig said, holding my arm.

He had a few tips: hold the snorkel with the teeth, close the mouth, and breathe only through the mouth. And if I find myself tired or anxious just roll over and lie flat looking up at the sky to regain my breath. And raise your hand if you are in trouble.

Then I was told to tilt my head down, wade my two feet and look into the depth of the ocean, which I did. And lo behold, there it was, the heavenly paradise. It was a universe of its own. An ecosystem of coral formations in a variety of colours, with vibrant sea plants dancing in harmony with fish species that I had never seen before. There were angelfish, sea horses, reef sharks, octopuses, starfish, giant clams, and eels.

I was both scared and overwhelmed with what I was seeing – a mix of several emotions, and I felt tired after some 20 minutes. I asked to be taken back to the boat. The Balinese lifeguard dragged me safely to it.

I was glad to be back to safety. Some half an hour later, the boat captain started calling back all the participants. We headed for the island for a packed lunch. It all felt so surreal. I was pinching myself to see if I was dreaming. I wasn’t.

After lunch we were told that they would be taking us to another spot where we can see the sea turtles. I really wanted to see them, as I have never seen them in the wild. The organisers thought that being from Bhutan I was not enjoying the experience and offered to take me back to the hotel, while other participants could continue.

“I am taking the second round,” I told them.

Everyone was surprised by my “courage”. 

“Are you not scared?” someone asked.

“Well, I am. But this is the best chance to conquer my fear with so many divers around me. And in any case, my character is – when I am scared or uncomfortable with something, I drive straight into it,” I replied.

I had simply the most amazing experience in the afternoon. I loved following a giant sea turtle. And even attempted to go solo and dive down a little.

Life is scuba diving

We often stay away from exploring the world, exploring your true qualities or your potentials, and fulfilling your dreams because you fear something monstrous might pop up from the unknown. We then waste away our life in mediocrity, irrelevance, and emptiness.

Fear is natural in life. Fear is necessary for survival. It is one of the most basic instincts that comes from the most ancient part of our brain – the amygdala region. But fear can prevent you from living, and from good relationahips and self-fulfilment. Fear keeps us from fulfilling our dreams, exercising our true self, or realising our full potential. Because of fear they say you suffer more in your own imagination than in reality.

While a certain level of caution is necessary, most fears are unfounded, that are meant to control us. One of the most unnecessary fears we have is the fear of moving out of our comfort zone. And into the unknown. This is not good. Every human is endowed with abilities, talents and power to make the world a better place – for himself or for those around him.

So, jump off the boat and enjoy the wonders of another universe that may be lying right below you or besides you. Jump off from toxic relationships, from a job that is wearing you down, or from a place that doesn’t value you. Dive deeper to enjoy the wonders of the world that you may be missing. Take the plunge into the best you. Remember that you will be alright. You won’t drown.

And if you feel the need, find your “Craig” who will rescue you – dead or alive. Hopefully alive.

But. Make. That. Plunge.