At the on-going Bhutan’s literature festival, Bhutan Echoes, where I was invited to share my doctoral dissertation, two concepts – loss of belongingness and loss of innocence, resonated with the young moderator. I guess, he also represents the feelings of our next generation.

I have argued that these two losses are the principal root cause for most of the issues we face with our youth today.

Let me define what sense of belonging is in this article.

Sense of belonging is, firstly, our authentic connection to our shared past, our shared present and our shared future. When people have no connection to their story of their past, when people feel that they have no stake or say in the present circumstances, or when people see no hope for the future, they lose the sense of belonging. They feel worthless, and unrecognised, and pushed away. One can only imagine where people will head for, or resort to because as social animals, we always seek a place and a community where they feel they are accepted, belonged and valued.

How do we come to such conclusions? As communication scholars, we are trained to observe, listen to and analyse social interactions such as verbal and non-verbal cues. This field of study is callled ethnography of communication. It posits the idea that what we communicate reveals a lot of our identity, beliefs systems and socio-cultural dispositions.

To put it simply, statements like “Nga yoena mena ei. Yoe ru toob, mi ru toob” (Whether I am there or not, it is fine) – a common statement these days can index to loss of self-worth and motivation. It is not a good sign for a country of less than quarter a million of productive citizens.

Second, a sense of belonging is not a fixed state. We constantly evaluate our surroundings and people around us – and ask: do I belong here? Am I wanted? Am I useful? Just because you have a job in the government, or you come from a good family, do not guarantee anything. If someone feels useless, they will either go haywire or in the best case scenario, which is especially true for Bhutanese, they will walk away – a phenomenon that has been coined in sociology as quiet-quitting. 

Third, a sense of belonging is not a rational thinking but an emotional feeling. This means from the perspective of neuroscience it emerges from an area in the brain called the limbic system. Humans have three areas of the brain: the frontal neocortex, which is broadly termed as the logical brain; the limbic area, which is the emotional brain; and the oldest layer called the reptilian brain, which mainly controls our survival instinct.

So, because it is an emotion, using facts, figures and logic will not reinstate a sense of belonging to any person. For instance, the government promising to double the per capita income by 2029 or 2034 will not change anyone’s mind from leaving if they have so decided. Loss of sense of belonging is an emotional breakdown, and not an economic disruption.

Fortunately, when it comes to a shared future, we have the ambitious Gelephu Mindfulness City project, which has given us a topic to talk about, and something to look forward to – or simply to gossip on.

As someone who has seen a lot in life, if there is something that we can achieve, it is always what we perceive as something impossible. In recent memory, the 2003 military operation comes to my mind. Earlier to that we have fended off the British – sometimes militarily, sometimes through diplomacy. History and our past achievements are with us, as we embark on the most important project of our generation and the next.

Another initiative that will help address the sense of belonging will be the Gyalsung program, which will connect our youth to the past, and firmly ground them into the present.

Hope is, as they say, on the horizon.