My cousin, childhood friend, schoolmate, business partner, and a family friend passed away after a long battle with a terminal illness. He was just 64. His demise leaves a hole in my heart that will never be filled. 

The loss will always be felt by his family and the film industry, for Pema was the liveliest person, the most loving father, and helpful to everyone in the film fraternity. He was self-taught and gave everything to the art, and to others. He kept nothing for himself.

When we were growing up, he took care of me like my elder brother. He used to defend me fiercely, taught me many things. All my siblings loved him as our elder brother. Our families were thick and close. My mom and his mom were cousins from the Shongphu Chukmo clan.

He was a brilliant student but dropped out of school because classrooms bored him. He lived his life on his own terms – carefree and joyful, till my father found him a wife and married him off one evening and told him to settle down. He did listen, and raised a large family of four children and many grandchildren. His children love him. His grandchildren adore him.

He was a trained agronomist, a carpenter and welder, and self-trained film director (Bhu Tashi), line producer (Chepai Bhu, Nazhoen Chharo, and others), singer (Tshomo Tshomo), film editor, graphic artist, musician (he played saxophone and keyboard), three times award winning sound designer and cameraman. And many more.

In our adult life he cheered me at every success I achieved. He was happier and prouder, and had greater confidence and belief than I had for myself. We ran a successful production studio and the radio for a couple of years, where he trusted me and my judgments, and my decisions with his life. Never once did he challenge me.

But there is one thing that the world can learn from Pema – optimism and strength in the face of adversity. And to never lose one’s sense of humor no matter how bad life goes. In 2018, when he was diagnosed with a terminal disease and the doctors gave him a few months, he told my daughter that he would beat the odds and live much longer. He did and went on to live almost eight years. 

When he was getting the chemo and was recovering in a hospital in India, he kept sending me dirty jokes every day. He said that I was more stressed than him because I was in the middle of completing my PhD. 

He showed immense courage and strength that I had never known before. Even the doctors were inspired. This is something that will stay with me, this is something he has taught me as his final lesson as I will miss his presence, our long conversations, and his encouragements from the stands.

Fare Thee Well, my brother. The earth beneath me already feels weak without you. Although we have been preparing for this day, it still took one full day for me to compose myself and gather strength for this short piece.

And to the world, we are poorer by one good selfless person.